Rule of Three

Sun shines down on my back burning through the whiteness of my t-shirt into pale white skin. Sometimes it feels good to sweat, from the top of your head on down till you get that moisture right in the pit of your knee. Damp. Casual breeze brushes by. The sound of the town in the distance. Background noise of clinking glasses, guttural moans, and car horns. Smell the asphalt and rubber on the street. Going to a cafe to write is so cliched but when the inspiration hits you, what is one to do? Work with it. Surrender to the muse.
Or go fuck yourself.
At least the caffeine will jumpstart my heart. There's a flower bush out here on the patio; purplish-red blooms next to my steel mesh chair. Someone who works here tends these flowers. Along with bussing tables and stacking chairs. Delivering sugary beverages and slices of turtle cake. This one slice of 20 minutes in their work day. Checking the dampness of the soil. Making sure the balance is correct. Not too acidic. Not too loose or too tightly packed soil, giving the roots enough room to breathe. Wiping the dirt from their hands onto the barista towel at their waist. Feeling in touch with this little portion of mother nature's womb.
Leaves variegated, thoughts unsettled. Wondering when the clouds will scud away. Bring back the healing rays. Thoughtful. Magnetic. Magenta. All the colors of the gay rainbow kissing the hairless skin of my arm. Beaming down. Coming down on me in my zone of comfort. The slow wind down to a weekend, goodbye Sunday afternoon/evening, where are the blues and why have they gone away?

#1-Ordinal: It helps to number things. Gives structure to my madness. Order out of chaos. Makes me feel there is a sense to this world.

Not sure how I came to this point or when I first started doing it. Maybe it was when I first learned to count my stuffed toys. How many snoopys? How many ducks? How many teeth? Now let's group them: small and large.
This is one of the few lessons I learned well.

#2-Action: Bodies at rest too long tend to get buried. It helps keep my restless nature in check, plus it gives me something to do in those wee small hours.

My famous quote, "Action is better than inaction, but passion is best of all,"
seems to capture it.
You find more out and bring more to yourself by remaining in motion. Not just busy work and not without a calmness to your soul, but somehow, somewhere, striking that delicate balance.
Moths attracted to light, life attracted to the motion. Movement breeds movement, activity, pushing forward with that pioneer spirit. Peristalsis, the act of digestion, moving through the body. Photosynthesis and the release of oxygen into the air. Internal combustion, the spark of a light switch. All these miracles surround our everyday, the buzz of the wings of a dragonfly, alive for 30 days max and then falling into the ground, dust crushed into the pavement and blown away.
In the same way it encircles us all.

#3-Truth: To find a truth that's true for me. The sound of this sentence rings in my head.

Fuck everyone else's answers, I'll find my own. Become my own Magellan, laughing into the face of circumnavigation. I must find my sexton's tools, my compass and world-weary maps and then I am off!
The answers are within us.
The answers are bullshit.
The answer to question #3 is FALSE.
The answer for me is not the answer for you.
You want answers? Go to the encyclopedia and find your trivia.
What's the Gross National Product of Tanzania? (273)
How many stripes are on Zimbabwe's flag? (7)
Where's the best place to fuck yourself? (take your pick)
Inside, man, it's all inside.
So go out there and live it
or just sit at home,
alone,
your own miserable little fun house amusement park ride.
Just about there,
bottom of the page.
Sometimes it feels good to give yourself permission to suck.
Made it,
Amen.

© Copyright 2005 Shroud Press