12:29 AM

tick tock sleep or write tick tock dehydrated weary
tired today too much caffeine to keep awake and too much sun to bring me down.
My belly swells. If I don't get to sleep soon (unlikely)
I'll be too exhausted for my morning run and my stomach will grow ever larger.
More hair falls out. My contact lens prescription weakens even as my dull hand drags this pen across the page.
No one writes in notebooks like this anymore. Dinosaur. Yawn, dry mouth, bad breath. Somehwere in the world a bomb explodes. Wish I was knocked into slumber with it. Maybe if I sit on the toilet for a while peace will come.
Where did it all go wrong? So damn wrong.
Growing up I was the oldest child, Jesus on a Big Wheel, flashing through life, kicking ass. Lost my edge.
Now I'm on the Geritol softball team, smelling of rubbing alcohol and the stale mothballs of my grandmothers closet. How the fuck did this happen?
Sitting on the commode @ 1 AM I think to myself,
"I knew I should have eaten that second bowl of frosted oat bran this morning...."

Clench, unclench
clench, unclench
By the way, that's my jaw.
Clench, unclench
clench, unclench

Although at this late hour it could have easily been my sphincter
or my fist.

Listen,
I don't know what the answer is-
but I've got to keep trying.


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